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Caravan Facts :: View topic - Fifty Shades Of Grey In Rhyme
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Fifty Shades Of Grey In Rhyme

 
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tamsdad
Part Timer
Part Timer




Joined: Mar 01, 2012
Posts: 79
Location: Middlesbrough

Caravan: Lunar Delta 520-2
Towcar:VW Tiguan

Medals: None

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Referred By: Outdoor Bits
PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 8:44 am    Post subject:  Fifty Shades Of Grey In Rhyme
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My missus bought a paperback
In Asda, Saturday.
I had a look inside the bag -
'Twas "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it, see,
And went off up to bed.
An hour later, she appeared
Oh, the sight filled me with dread.

In her hand she held a rope,
The other, held a whip.
She brandished them around a bit
And then began to strip.

Well, forty years ago
I might have had a peek.
But Doris hasn't weathered well -
She's sixty-eight next week.

Watching Doris bump and grind
Couldn't be much grimmer.
And things progressed from bad to worse -
She toppled off her Zimmer .

She struggled back up to her feet
A good half hour later,
Put her teeth back in and said
That I must dominate her.

Now if you knew our Doris , see,
You'd know just why I cringed.
I'd been two months in traction, 'cos
My hips and knees unhinged.

She stood there nude. All naked, like,
Bent forward quite a bit
and, jumping back in fright, I went
And stood on her left t*t.

Doris screamed, her teeth shot out,
My word. What HAD I done ?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out
"Step on the OTHER one"

Well reader, I can tell no more
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say, my dark brown hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.

Black and blue, battered too,
With wanton, wild perversion,
We decided that a night of sin
Was scarce worth such exertion.

Thank Heavens she has binned the book
And peace reigns, like before.
She's head to toe in winceyette
And back to back, we snore.

Anon.
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caravanlucy
Newbie
Newbie




Joined: Jul 24, 2013
Posts: 9


Caravan: MAYFAIR 700 FENDT
Towcar:mercedes a class

Medals: None

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Referred By: Google
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 1:17 pm    Post subject:  
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hehehe....very funny

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caravanlucy
Newbie
Newbie




Joined: Jul 24, 2013
Posts: 9


Caravan: MAYFAIR 700 FENDT
Towcar:mercedes a class

Medals: None

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Referred By: Google
PostPosted: Thu Aug 01, 2013 12:43 pm    Post subject:  
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Honestly, I think your poem is brilliant!!

Did you write it yourself?? If yes, you are one talented guy I have to say... respect! Smile

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topdog14
Rally-er
Rally-er




Joined: Jun 15, 2008
Posts: 401
Location: Wales

Caravan: Coachman Vip
Towcar:Hyundai Santa Fe

Medals: None



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PostPosted: Sat Nov 09, 2013 8:41 am    Post subject:  
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Brilliant !!!


Topdog14
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alivan
Newbie
Newbie




Joined: Dec 10, 2013
Posts: 8


Caravan: Bailey 2003 Bailey Ranger 460/2, 2 Berth2003 Bailey Ranger 460/2, 2 Berth2003 Bailey Ranger 460/2, 2 Berth
Towcar:Range Rover

Medals: None



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PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 12:18 pm    Post subject:  
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this is too good. Will have to share

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